How to Disagree Without Being Disagreeable

Everyone has had to meet the challenge of navigating civil conversations at the Thanksgiving table or over a glass of wine with someone we know thinks differently that we do. It’s tricky at best.  When well done, everyone can breathe a sigh of relief.  Done poorly, it can create lasting animosities.

City Club can help navigate those perilous waters. Over our 17 years of existence, we’ve developed nine tools of civility.  Being a good listener is one of the best tools for developing moderate conversations.  Pay attention to the other person, and try to find areas of agreement, not discord.  And treating everyone with respect is also key to creating an inclusive conversation, and when you make a mistake, offer a sincere apology.

You can find this and more advice on our website at  and they’ll be a lifesaver the next time the conversation turns to a difficult topic.

You’ll also find those tools of civility at work at every one of our monthly Forums, where we tackle timely issues in a civil conversation.  We do that through dialogue, education and research that results in responsible civic engagement for everyone involved.

So come out to a City Club Forum, where you’ll find other community members and civic leaders talking about difficult issues in a civil way.  You can learn about upcoming Forums at Or better yet become a City Club member and keep up with all our activities. The place to start is